September 2018  
SMTWTFS
      1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30    
Upcoming Events
SEP

25

TUE
Quilters Group
10:00 PM to 2:00 PM
Quilters will be meeting on September 25, 2018, our regular 4th Tuesday day. There will be sewing, pressing, arranging pieces and other non-sewing tasks available. Come and help us with the projects. We will start about 10:00 and go until 2:00 with a break for potluck lunch. Join us for fellowship and bring an dish to share at lunch. We welcome new folks to join us and participate in this mission of St. Andrew's.
Happy Quilting, Barb Ullmann
SEP

26

WED
Choir Practice
7:30 PM to 8:30 PM
SEP

30

SUN
Early Church Service
8:30 AM to 9:30 AM
Traditional Service
11:00 AM to 12:00 PM
OCT

03

WED
Choir Practice
7:30 PM to 8:30 PM
OCT

07

SUN
OCT

08

MON
OCT

10

WED
Choir Practice
7:30 PM to 8:30 PM
Bible Search

Humor Corner

  • I got a new shadow. I got rid of the old one. It wasn’t doing what I was doing.
  • Right now I am having amnesia and deja-vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
  • The nice thing about being senile. You can hide your own Easter eggs.
  • The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and doesn’t stop until you stand up to speak in public.
  • Sometimes I awake at night and ask: “Where have I gone wrong?” Then a voice says to me: “This is going to take more than one night.”
  • My parents were so poor, they got married for the rice.
  • Hatchet—What hen does to an egg.
  • If a long dress is evening wear, What is a suit of armor? Silverware.
  • Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up which I will not put.
  • You know it’s a bad day, when your income tax refund check bounces.
  • Arcade - A kind of lemonade served on Noah’s Ark.
  • Deposed kings are a throne away.
  • All of us could take a lesson from the weather, It pays no attention to criticism.
  • Deposed kings are a throne away.
  • What do you get when you divide the diameter of a pumpkin by its circumference?  Pumpkin PI.
  • I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He said stop going to those places.
  • Vegetarian: Native American definition of a lousy hunter.
  • If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.
Contents © 2018 St. Andrew's United Methodist Church | Church Website Provided by mychurchwebsite.net | Privacy Policy